It seems, try as I might, I cannot shake them. Since I've started writing again, the couple stops by at the most inopportune times.
During Christmas, I was neck high covered in wrapping paper. When the knock on the door came, I just knew it was the God people. I dropped my wrapping papers and answered the door. The sweet little couple said their hello and began their spiel.
I hesitated, and then I cut them off. I explained that I had just started wrapping presents and I was limited on time--the little one would wake from her nap soon. They understood, handed me the pamphlets, and left.
In October, I had just begun tearing apart our surround system--we blew out the sub woofer--when I heard a car pull into the drive. I looked out the window and sure enough it was the God people.
I know they saw how I was working behind the entertainment center, all tangled in wires, and covered in speaker dust. They knocked on the door anyway.
I listened for a bit and then, politely as I could, asked them to leave. They passed me the magazines and left.
The month before that, I was having computer issues. I had to reformat and reinstall a ton of information. I was aggravated beyond belief when they knocked on the door. I answered and explained to them that I was in the middle of some major computer issues. Understanding as they were, they handed me the books and left.
Last month they arrived with a new person in their party. They knocked on the door and of course I answered. They introduced their new member and shared scripture with me. Now I listened for as long as I could before I relayed to them that I was just getting ready to go shopping. They gave me the papers and left.
This month they knocked on the door and my husband answered. They asked for me. Can you believe that he actually came and got me? I was in the office working on an article, just about had it submitted, and here he stood saying, "There's someone at the door for you." I glared in his direction, "is it the God people?" He nodded. The little one heard me and started chanting, "It's the God people" over and over. He grabbed her and took her out of ear shot.
I shuffled to the door, took a long deep breath, and opened it. They smiled at me and asked me if I was having issues with my stereo, my computer, wrapping presents, or going to the store.
I said, "Actually, I just started working on writing..."
"Oh, you're a writer?"
"Well, I'm trying to be..."
"Whom are you writing for?"
At this point I really wanted to say God, but I bit my tongue and told them about the online gig. They brushed me off, "We have some new books for you. We’d like to share some scripture...”
I had to cut them off. I hated doing it, but, I was really right in the middle of work. They started off on the wrong foot with me by mentioning all of my recent trials when I came to the door. They handed me the books and left.
Bear with me now because this is going to get weird. Last night I awoke from a startling dream. In my dream I was dozing on the couch. There was a knock at the door. I opened my eyes and knew who it was, the God people. I decided not to answer and went back to sleep.
Suddenly the door opened and in walked the newest member of the clan. I stood up and said, "Just what do you think you're doing?"
Astonished, she looked at me and said, "The door was open!" I walked over and pushed her out the door. "Just because the door was open doesn't give you the right to enter!"
The older couple just stood there staring at me. I asked them to leave. They didn't give me any magazines and left.
Don't get me wrong. For over a year I have been civil with this couple. The dream I had last night really woke me up.
My time is precious. I am religious but I am not a Jehovah's Witness. I believe in God and pray regularly. I have nothing against Jehovah's Witnesses. But between them, the magazine sales people, asphalt salesmen, neighbors stopping by, friends and family calling on a whim to chat, and life in general, I feel that time stealers are taking over my life.
I feel like putting a sign on the door that says:
THAT MEANS NO FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, SALESMEN,
OR GOD PEOPLE!
What would you do? How do you handle situations like this?